Day 54: Boycotting a Store Seems like a Waste of New Years Resolution

We’re just hours into 2017 and I’ve already broken my New Year’s resolution. I drank a Monster Energy Drink. I’ve tried to stop drinking these things for years. I told myself 2017 was going to be the year I finally did it. The year I finally cut all that caffeine and sugar out of my diet. And just like that I’m popping open a black and neon green can.

My resolution will start tomorrow. I swear. Starting tomorrow, no more Monster.

They say misery loves company. And Twitter Search allows you to read tweets from total strangers. So I did a search to find people who broke their resolution on day one, like me.

In my searches for resolution breakers, I came across a couple of tweets that were… interesting.

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Day 53: Happy New Years from a Non-Drinker

Do you remember the all too important campaign question of “Who would you rather have a beer with?” It’s the question that helped George W. Bush not win the popular vote in 2000 and defeat John Kerry in 2004. W was the guy you’d rather sit next to at bar because Al Gore and Kerry lacked personality. They were said to be too stiff. Maybe they would have been great presidents, but we’ll never know because you would not want to share a cold one with one of those lame-o’s.

And so we got eight years of George W. Bush.

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Day 52: Why didn’t we Punish That 400 Pound Hacker Guy?

So, anything big happen since the last time we talked?

There was this:
Singer resigns from Mormon Tabernacle Choir, says she ‘could never look myself in the mirror again’ if she performed for Trump

And this:
Cowboys will reportedly play Tony Romo on Sunday

And then this:
Ryan Seacrest Gets Stuck in Elevator in Times Square

I guess nothing big has happened. Oh wait. Yeah. You’re right. There was that other thing.

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Day 51: Whoever Controls the Headlines, Controls the World

As you might have noticed, there isn’t much on television this week. Unless, of course, you like watching bowl games. I don’t. I think college football’s postseason is unwatchable. Half empty stadiums, mediocre teams, announcers contractually obligated to say the names of corporate sponsors you’ve never heard of because someone convinced them to hand over a barrel of cash to put their name on an unimportant football game.

Sorry for that rant. I guess I just have some feelings about bowl games.

Instead of watching hours of meaningless college football games, I decided to spend my day today binge watching “Leah Remini: Scientology and the Aftermath.” I like it. I don’t know if it’s for everyone, but if you like a good docuseries, especially a docuseries that investigates controversial religions, than I’d say give it a watch. It’s really well done.

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Day 50: Thanks Donald for Thanking Yourself in Third Person.

The thought of losing a hypothetical election to the current president getting under your skin? Can’t compete with the internet’s heart warming tributes to Carrie Fisher? How are you ever going to get people to pay attention to you?

Oh I know.

Send out a tweet.

Not just any tweet. A tweet that tells everyone that you’re doing a good job. That will get their attention.

But what will really get their attention is if you ended that tweet with something extra, really extra.

I got it. Two words. “Thanks Donald.”

Yes! Thank yourself… in third person.

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Day 48: Obama would’ve won, but that’s not the best thing he said during that interview

I know, I know. I already wrote about President Obama on Day 44. Why am I writing about Obama again today?

Three reasons.

  1. It’s my blog and I can pretty much write whatever I want to write.
  2. He’s the president and he made some news today.
  3. He made that news on a podcast, and I love podcasts.
  4. And I know I said three reasons, but I just came up with another. Because the news he made on a podcast isn’t as important as something else he said.

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By Tim Hammill